9 Phrases That Build Trust at Work (What to Say, Not Just What to Do)
- Shenandoah Chefalo
- Jan 30, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
Whether you’re collaborating closely on projects, handing work off, or simply brushing shoulders day to day, your coworkers shape your experience more than you might realize.
Building relationships at work comes down to small moments of respect, clarity, and repair. These short phrases help reduce defensiveness, keep you regulated, and strengthen trust during tense conversations. Use them in meetings, handoffs, feedback, and supervision to improve connection without avoiding accountability.
Start here: Want the full set of trauma-informed tools for leaders? Visit our Trauma-Informed Leadership Toolkit for scripts, boundary phrases, regulation tools, and practical next steps.
No matter where you work, knowing how to build relationships at work matters. And while it takes more than the “right” phrases to build real trust, these pocket phrases can help you stay regulated, communicate respect, and strengthen connection, especially in tense or stressful moments.
Below are 9 phrases we regularly teach leaders and teams because they reduce defensiveness and make repair possible.
1. Validate & Empower
“That sounds really frustrating. What can I do to help?”
Use it when: someone is upset, overwhelmed, or venting and needs to feel heard.
Avoid it when: you are the cause of harm and need to take responsibility first (start with accountability, then support).
When you acknowledge someone’s emotions without trying to fix them, you build trust. Asking what support they want also empowers them to identify what would help—rather than receiving solutions before they’re ready.
This is one of the simplest ways to strengthen psychological safety and trust over time.
2. Clarify & Collaborate
“Do you want me to follow your lead, or brainstorm ideas with you?"
Use it when: starting a project, receiving a task, or noticing confusion about roles.
Avoid it when: the person has already clearly stated what they need (then simply confirm and proceed).
Collaboration gets messy when roles and expectations are unclear. This question clarifies the type of support needed and shows that you are flexible and team-oriented.
When conversations escalate, it often helps to understand fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses at work.
3. Acknowledge & Build
“Yes! I love that idea… and I want to add…”
Use it when: you want to build on someone’s idea without shutting it down.
Avoid it when: the idea raises serious concerns that require a clear “pause” or boundary (then use direct language instead).
Sometimes we offer feedback so quickly that the other person doesn’t feel heard. Even if your intention is helpful, skipping acknowledgment can land as rejection—especially in workplaces where stress or trauma has shaped communication into either/or thinking.
This small shift communicates: “I’m with you. I hear you. And I’m contributing.”
These phrases work best when they’re reinforced by shared norms. Our Foundational and Implementation Training helps leaders build that consistency.
4. Express Gratitude
“Thank you for doing that. I really appreciate it.”
Use it when: someone helps, follows through, or shows care and initiative.
Avoid it when: you are using gratitude to avoid addressing a real issue (appreciation and accountability can coexist).
People want to feel seen. Naming appreciation, especially for effort that often goes unnoticed, strengthens connection and contributes to a more supportive workplace culture.
5. Thoughtful Follow-Up
“How did it go? I’ve been thinking of you.”
Use it when: someone shared something important (a hard situation, a presentation, a personal milestone).
Avoid it when: it feels intrusive. Keep it simple and let them decide how much to share.
Following up shows you genuinely care. Remembering details from a prior conversation builds a sense of being valued as a person, not just a coworker.
6. Positive Gossip
“I love working with her. She’s so thoughtful and creative!”
Use it when: someone isn’t present, and you’re reflecting on their strengths or contributions.
Avoid it when: it becomes performative or exaggerated; keep it sincere and specific.
Speaking well of others builds trust in the room. It also signals that you notice strengths and contributions, something many workplaces lack.
When we talk about others, people often assume we speak about them the same way. Choosing positive “gossip” can strengthen safety and community.
7. Celebrate Success
“Way to go! I’m so happy for you.”
Use it when: someone completes something hard, reaches a milestone, or improves a skill.
Avoid it when: the moment calls for quiet acknowledgment rather than big energy (match the person’s style).
Workplaces often move so fast that wins go unrecognized. Celebrating others creates a culture of mutual support and helps people feel connected to progress and meaning.
8. Affirm Self-Worth
“Congratulations! You deserve it.”
Use it when: someone is minimizing their success or feels uncomfortable being recognized.
Avoid it when: you don’t know the context well—if unsure, use “I’m proud of you” or “You earned that.”
In workplaces affected by chronic stress or trauma, people may struggle to achieve success. Naming what they deserve can be both validating and healing.
9. Express Trust
“I trust your judgement.”
Use it when: delegating, empowering decision-making, or supporting someone’s ownership.
Avoid it when: expectations are unclear (add guardrails: “I trust your judgment—here are the parameters.”)
This phrase communicates confidence and autonomy. While trust is built through actions, not words alone, explicit trust can be powerful when paired with clarity and follow-through.
Final Thoughts: Building Relationships at Work
Wanting to improve your relationships at work is a strong starting point. Still, building trust takes more than reading a blog post; it takes practice, skills, and consistent norms.
If you want to strengthen relationships and communication within your team, our e-book, Leading with Humanity, offers practical tools you can apply immediately.
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